My Ultimate Goal in Life… Unknown
Today I spent lunch chatting with my cousin Gary who’s visiting from USC right now. We got to talking about life after college. He’s getting a law degree and I’m doing my EE degree. We’re both done in May of this year.
Both of us have multiple interests (collectively: music, the web, law, tech, cooking) and Gary was telling me about how he deals with this dilemma. Do you choose one interest, go 100%, and screw the other ones to maximize your efficiency.. or do you continue multitasking? Gary gave me a solid response:
Set an ultimate goal and plan your way there.
Basically all your work, opportunities pursued, and time consumption should conform to the path of achieving your ulitmate goal. Noah actually also mentioned this to me when we were discussing my music career a while back.
Gary’s logic is that if you keep going with the flow and pursue an opportunity here, an opportunity there… there’s ultimately no consistent ascension or satisfaction felt. If you work for a corporation and steadily climb your way up to CEO status, that’s fine… but then what’s next? Gary says that if that wasn’t your ultimate goal, you’ll be asking yourself.. what’s next?
I think he brings a pretty good point.
I haven’t set an ultimate goal yet. But here are some examples:
- Deadline goal (e.g. to retire by age 30)
- Everyday type goal (e.g. to interact with people)
- Long-term goal (e.g. to start a company)
At the beginning of this year, I posted my 3 goals for 2007. This is a start. But I need to set an ultimate goal.
Have you set an ultimate goal in life yet?
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March 15th, 2007 at 6:35 pm
I don’t know if I completely agree with setting an ultimate goal in life in terms of where you want to be, because frankly a lot of people still need to discover their passions and what they can/can’t do. I think ultimate goals can be stuff like being a good person and helping others, etc., but a lot of people have unrealistic goals or unrealistic dreams which can ultimately lead to failure and dissappointment. I think you were one of the lucky ones who things worked out for. Haha I’m very pessimistic I know.
March 15th, 2007 at 6:58 pm
(I apologize in advance for the long comment. Here: $0.02.)
This dilemma has plagued my high school / college career. Actually, I used to think of myself as an “appetizer sampler platter” (I must sound wacko right about now,) but I was really content, spreading myself among different interests/commitments. Each commitment brought me a different kind of fulfillment and I didn’t want to give anything up.
Yet I think it was a combination of growing up, having to pick a major, and seeing others’ achievements from sticking to one commitment that made me rethink the “sampler platter model”.
I’m not too clear how I got here but I think I do have an “ultimate goal” now. 95% of what I’m doing is to get me there. It comes with its sacrifices though. ie no time to pursue other interests or try new things. The rush of life keeps us stuck, as if sitting in a train watching houses and lakes go by before you can even think about wanting to stop to take a look. (It’s like that John Mayer song!)
BUT I believe you can’t do anything great unless you make those sacrifices. It’s a choice.
Why do we put ourselves through this anyway? It would be so much easier to just “wing it”. As you say, “there’s no consistent ascension / satisfaction,” …but there would be less stress and more funtime. That can be pretty satisfying.
Yes it’s important to have an ultimate goal. But it’s important to look at life as a fluid entity as well. You grow, you learn new things, you formulate new goals. You answer, “what’s next?” And that’s what makes life exciting. Having values and a direction is important as a guide, but there is flexibility as well.
March 15th, 2007 at 11:00 pm
You both bring up excellent points Allison and Floria. I think we’re more or less all on the same page though.
“I think ultimate goals can be stuff like being a good person and helping others, etc., but a lot of people have unrealistic goals or unrealistic dreams which can ultimately lead to failure and dissappointment.” Totally. It’s important to run your dreams/ideas off your closest friends and family to make sure you’re not going way off track. I can’t say things really worked out for me though Allison. I’m still in the process of trying to figure myself out. Having said that, I do go with my gut most of the time. If I’m pretty excited about something, then I’m going to do it. Granted it doesn’t cost me my life ;) But I still have a lot to learn about myself.
Floria, “appetizer sampler platter” =) What a great analogy. I’ve gotta say… I still feel that way a bit now. You’re totally right. Ultimate goals come with great sacrifices. You’re going to have to pass up a lot of awesome opportunities that might be awesome but will cause you to deviate from your objective. What if I got offered to write the soundtrack for the next Kill Bill film? That would be friggin fantastic… but is that something that’s helping me fulfill my ultimate objective?
“You answer, “what’s next?” And that’s what makes life exciting. Having values and a direction is important as a guide, but there is flexibility as well.” Flexibility is always good. I think that after a person has reached that ultimate goal, then it’s time to ask what’s next. That would be so awesome. It’s like life after death…
March 16th, 2007 at 3:34 am
Hi Tony.
I don’t really believe in one ultimate goal. If you say, “I’ll give up anything to retire by age 30,” you might give up a lot of good things that you’ll regret.
I’m trying to write down every goal I have, from what I want to accomplish this year to as far down the line as I can imagine. What this does is paint an “ultimate picture” of what I want my life to be like. I clearly have more than one goal in life, but just because it’s more important for me to one day have a house and kids doesn’t mean I’ll give up a goal that doesn’t directly conform with that path, like learning how to sail. It also allows me to qualify my goals with my values; for example, I won’t let my financial goals take precedence over my family, friends and health.
With every goal on the table, some are obviously not going to work out. I probably won’t become a jiu-jitsu world champion if I really want to run my own business in my 20s. But that’s okay - life is about choices. Besides, your interests and values change as you grow up so you can modify your vision over time.
This is actually a new process for me (maybe about 6 months), maybe you could tell me what you think?
Great job on the recent work!
March 16th, 2007 at 6:08 am
Hey Tony
Funny I was just wondering what it is that you would want to do long term yesterday. It is prob the recruiter side of me ;-) Or I’m just plain nosey…. LOL. You have such an interesting background, a EE degree, clear talent within Web 2.0 technologies and then your extremely musically inclined. It will be very interesting to see where you end up.
I know you have done a few internships but I am not sure specifically what they were on. May huh???? You’d be amazed at how many new grads have not even begun thinking about life after school.
I will be waiting to see what May brings…..
Christie
March 16th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
[…] posted something yesterday about having an ultimate goal in life, one that you try and bend every action and opportunity toward fulfilling. I don’t have an […]
March 18th, 2007 at 12:32 pm
Wow thanks everyone for the reflection and feedback on the entry. I love it when we can all chat on the same page on topics like this.
Jeff, thanks for the comment bud. I think think modifying one’s vision over time is pretty normal and healthy. Having said that, I believe that knowing what you really want to do at any given point in time is very important. Perhaps the goal is to continue trying different things. e.g. Try a new profession / ambition every two years? As long as a person is actually contemplating one’s goals (as you clearer have done and continue doing) is good in itself — as opposed to drifting and fluctuating because of peer influences.
Hope that makes sense…
Christie, it’s flattering to know that you were considering what I will be doing long term =)) I think a few more weeks/months of meditation and experimenting will bring me some more focus and vision. Do you have any suggestions on what I should pursue post-college?
March 19th, 2007 at 7:56 am
I did, but Anna Nicole killer herself so I have to think of a new one.
March 19th, 2007 at 9:59 am
Google
:-)
March 20th, 2007 at 8:17 pm
Yoo, Tony,
I attended a panel discussion hosted by our dean this noon.
The topic is about how to balance your life and work.
All the panelists are graduated from USC law school.
Some became partners, some work at big law firms, some got divorced, some engage in public interest…etc.
One thing in common is they’re all happy about their lives. (superficially?)
Here are some recaps i want to share with you, as the extension of the ultimate goal topic.
1. Do not let others put limitation on you. Whenever they said you can’t make it, it’s not true.
2. Identify your goal. Whatever you figure out is fine as long as you’re true to yourself.
3. Re-balance and readjust yourself all the time.
4. No regret!!
My final conclusion, which borrowed from my high school English teacher, “follow your heart, reach for the star.”
I could see your true potential, so pursue whatever you want to do!
Carpe diem!!